Void

Some days are going to be really hard. Harder than I'd ever anticipated. These will be the days when the world feels too heavy, and nothing makes sense. Sometimes the best I can do is just survive, and hope for a better day tomorrow.

I know that sometimes life doesn’t make sense but I know that everything that’s confusing me is also changing me. Everything that’s hurting me is also healing myself. Everything that’s burdening me is also teaching me how to carry myself.

Between ,

“Can we ever get rid of the whats and the ifs. That doubts that exist in our minds. In the silence I am tricked into thinking you'll forget and I'll be stranded like a man in a mine"

Life is not meant to go one way or the other. It’s not meant to be black or white. It will always confuse us and take us by surprise. It will always ambush us with situations we were not prepared for. It may sometimes be too much to handle and sometimes too beautiful to forget. Sometimes it’s going to be on our side and everything will align perfectly and sometimes it will elude us. It will fool us. It will play the worst tricks on us.

The dots may not all connect right away, and my path may look a lot more like a spider web than a line, but I am still growing and I'm still moving forward even when life is hard. On the hard days, I think it’s okay if I can’t show up. It’s okay if I can’t fully share my heart with the world. Some days are for looking inward and for coping. Some days are survival days. And that's okay.

" There will be times when I will not get the closure I desire, times when I will have to fathom up the courage to create my own ending. I will have to search deep within myself to try to make peace with my broken heart, and to believe that everything really does happen for a reason "

But I like to think that I also know how to adapt. I know how to change, grow and evolve so I can keep up with life. I know how to fall down then stand back up. I know how to fail then start over. I know how to bounce back from the hardest setbacks. One bad moment doesn’t mean a bad life. Just because I'm crying today, doesn’t mean that I'm going to feel this way for the rest of the month, or year. Feelings are like the moon. They change and move through phases. It’s okay to feel sad. Just as long as I know that sadness is a phase and that it is not permanent.

Maybe I should stop trying to give life a number or a timeline or an expiration date and just enjoy the lessons. Enjoy the ride. Revel in the journey.

-emiriskndr-